Sunday, 5 March 2017

Da Waaagh of Megaboss Groin Kikka


Groin Kikka looked around, feeling slightly confused. The monsterous Ice Golem he had been barreling towards just moments before was gone. Something else was different too. When the battle had begun, the snow was so deep his boyz were in it up to their waists, plowing through the drifts in their frenzy to get to grips with the enemy. Now, the snow was sparse enough to see the stony ground and patches of grass beneath.

With a tug on the reins, he brought his Maw Krusha, Snaggle Toof, to a halt. He looked behind him, expecting to see his boyz charging past him, but instead he saw a host of glittering statues, perfect replicas of a horde of charging Brutes. As he watched, several of the statues shattered, revealing the Orruk beneath. Each took a few running steps as if they were still rushing towards the enemy before stopping, confused as to where their foes had gone. The pile of shards each Brute left behind began melting, leaving the ground covered in small pools of cold water.

Slowly, Groin Kikka began to remember the events of the last several weeks. His warband had been fighting across what the humies of this land called Da Great Green Tork. His boyz had fought their way to the foot of an immense mountain range where local myths claimed great ice creatures dwelt. Sensing this as a place he could find a good scrap, Groin Kikka ordered his warband into the frozen mountain passes.

It was during a howling blizzard that the inhabitants of this frozen wasteland attacked. Hordes of creatures who appeared to be made of pure ice rose up from where they had lain under the snow and laid into the Orruks with savage fury.  Massive creatures, also seemingly made of ice, also emerged and crushed Brutes under smashing fists or froze them solid with blasts of magical energy. It was one of these creatures that Groin Kikka last remembered barreling towards.

It seemed that the ice creatures had moved on, and the perpetual winter of this place had moved on with them. How long had he and his warband been frozen, sleeping while time passed them by? Days? Weeks? It didn't really matter, he thought. However much time had passed, he and his warband were free from their icy imprisonment. As soon as the rest of his warriors thawed, he would be back on the warpath.

Looking down the mountain and into the temperate plains below, he could see what he thought were armies on the march. Thick plumes of smoke rose from what must be burning town and villages. Groin Kikka's face cracked into a fanged smile. No matter how much time had passed, there would still be a good scrap to get into down there. Maybe the peoples of Da Great Green Tork had forgotten about da Great Boss Groin Kikka. It was time to descend from the mountains and bring a great WAAAGH! to these lands once more.

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