Sunday, 26 March 2017

Groin Kikka, Da Bane of Men and the Left Foot of Gork (or Mork?)

The Orruk Megaboss known as Groin Kikka's first recorded appearance was over 500 years ago, when he led a WAAAGH! of the Fire Skullz Klan that ravaged the Great Green Torc. Emerging without warning from the deep forest of the Burgoening, Groin Kikka burned, pillaged and chopped his way westward. Countless human villages and town fell before the might of his WAAAGH!

Champion after champion of the races of men, demons and worse fell before his axe and was crushed under his spiked iron boots. It was during a battle on the outskirts of a town called Wildgate that he earned the name he is now known by, when he defeated the town's Warden with a single kick that connected with the man's groin so hard, that he died before his body hit the dirt thirty yards away.

As he rampaged west across the Secret Remorse, he grew bored of the paltry human resistance and hoped to one day meet a more worthy foe. It was in this desolate region that he first heard of the Ice Golems of the desolate wastes of Glacia. Rumored to be giants who could crush an ogor in a single blow, Groin Kikka thought he might have finally found an opponent that could provide him some decent sport. Groin Kikka ordered the Fire Skulls into the mountains.

During a howling blizzard, his army was ambushed by the Ice Golems, the giant, lumbering beasts rising from the snow drifts to crush the invaders. One by one, Groin Kikka's followers were either crushed to pulp under the golem's fists, or frozen solid by eldritch blasts. With only a single mob of Gore Gruntas remaining, Groin Kikka charged the nearest Golem mage, only to be frozen mid-charge by a frozen blast.

Five centuries passed. As the Age of Chaos wore on, the forces of chaos swept across the Green Torc in an orgy of blood. Though tens of thousands of mad berzerkers of the Bloodbound and scores of Arcanite warbands fell before the might of the Ice Golems, eventually they were all destroyed. With their winter magiks no more, their former territory was no longer gripped by the never ending winter that had endured since time immemorial. With the rising temperatures, orruks of the Fire Skullz one by one began to thaw out, confused as to where the enemy they were just fighting had gone.

Groin Kikka did not ponder the question for too long, as looking down the mountain he saw armies on the move. Ever driven by the insatiable need for combat inherent in all Orruks, Groin Kikka gathered his remaining followers and descended into the valley below, known as the Nomad's chasm to bring war to the mortal realms once more.

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